Losing it...

Saw this on FB today "The last word: He said he was leaving. She ignored him.". and totally agree with my friend who posted that says it should be read by everyone facing mid life crisis.

The irrationality on one's part leading to whatever the situation may be different but I think and probably speaking out loud for myself...

... those that have relative success, that is have raised the kids, have a comfortable roof over the head and should be in the least affected- yet suddenly find themselves flipping out in mid life.

The one thing said by the author that basically sums it up (I reckon) is "And I saw what had been missing: pride. He’d lost pride in himself."

You know if you are going down that route.. you can feel the self-destruction as you sit around doing nothing. You feel that everything is worthless around you. Interests, hobbies, vacations and everything else suddenly just take a backseat in your mind. If you are still working, all you wanted is to get out of that chair at 6pm sharp and disappear into your empty lonely world.

Technology and its gadgets sure can provide a lot of distractions until you start to doze off to repeat the same shun-and-run routine from the world the next day. Some takes to the bottle, some to drugs.. I take to neither of these and sometimes the clarity of the situation just make it much worse. Its like looking at yourself falling away in pieces when nothing is actually really wrong.

I have gone through the rage phase... am asking myself are all these physiological? Hormonal changes.. no don't chuckle.. male or females are affected differently that's all. I also ask is this exacerbated by the current gloom and doom spell enveloping the world... still worrying about how I have not prepared sufficiently for old age and or simply the pressure exerted in the fast and ever faster pace world.

Technologically I can still catch up-- but find myself not willing to catch up. Why? Why should I keep chasing everything.. I want to slow down but the world doesn't allow me too.. Cooped up in one of the world's densest city with nowhere to run.  Ok, maybe its more than pride.. there is no assurance of the years to come. Granted my situation may sound better than many out there but the apprehension arising from being this sandwiched category .... it's hard to decide sometimes if its all just a phase of life or am I acknowledging the reality of an "apocalyptic" future.

This post will end here. Let's see what the writing in the next few years and make some comparison to the present situation here by then.  Mark the date-- its the 28th of August 2013 today.

Reality

"Objectively speaking: Are we merely the sum of our biases? Through which perceptions derived from our emotions and intellect are further simmered in the same emo-intellectual broth to form our opinions with which we see the world?"

Something I posted on Facebook status early in the morning...  How true is that? Or will I want to look for reasons to reinforce and justify those statements/ questions. Have the bias already been put in place with the notion of the word "true" by asking "how true..."

I'll just leave this open ended for now to be hopefully answered some time in the future should I even re-visit my own writings....


Confused-scious